The apartment of two psychiatrists.

The lad is a diminutive percussionist.

Decorate the entry ways.

ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

On my list, I only desire my foremost dual incisors.

The smog less witching hour has arrived.

Exuberating to this Orb.

288 Yuletide hours.

Do you perceive the same longitudinal pressure which stimulates my auditory sensory organs?

The red suited Pa is due in the Burg.

Sir Lancelot with laryngitis.

Extremely jovial senior Holy Nick.

Far back in the hay bin.

Crimson lighted sniffer on a very young buck.

Leave and do an elevated broadcast.

That small hamlet south of the Holy City.

Behold! I envisioned a trio of nautical vessels.

Listen, the winged heavenly messengers are proclaiming tunefully.

A joyful song of reverence relative to hollow metallic vessels which vibrate and bring forth a ringing sound when struck.

As the guardians of little wooly animals protected their charges in the shadows of the earth!

Little tinkle-makers on Lone Ranger's horse.

Mom's mother was the victim of a "hit and run" by one of Santa's sleigh team on the night before Christmas.

I spied my maternal parent face to face with Father Christmas.

Strolling along snowy fields during the Yuletide season.

Whose offspring?

Mildly Fragrant newborn Holy male.

To see the answers
click the number of the clue

Come, Thou long-expected Jesus,
Born to set Thy people free;
From our fears and sins release us;
Let us find our rest in Thee.

Israel's Strength and Consolation,
Hope of all the earth Thou art;
Dear Desire of every nation,
Joy of every longing heart.

Born Thy people to deliver,
Born a child and yet a King.
Born to reign in us forever,
Now Thy gracious Kingdom bring.

By Thine own eternal Spirit
Rule in all our hearts alone;
By Thine all sufficient merit
Raise us to Thy glorious throne.

Charles Wesley, 1744

Blessed are they

• Who understand
  my faltering steps and shaking hand.

• Who know that my ears today
  must strain to catch the words they say.

• Who seem to know
  that my eyes are dim and my wits are slow.

• Who look away
  when coffee is spilled today.

• Who with a cheery smile
  stop to chat for awhile.

• Who never say,
  "You've told that story twice today."

• Who know the ways
  to bring back lovely yesterdays.

• Who make it known
  that I am loved and not left alone.

• Who know the loss
  of the strength I need to bear the cross.

• Who ease the days
  on my journey home
  in so many loving ways.

Lucille Towne

I bought my friend some gift-wrap for Christmas.  I took it to the gift-wrap counter and told them to wrap it, but in different paper, so he'd know when to stop unwrapping.

December 1st

TO:  ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue.  There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols…feel free to sing along.  And don't be surprised If our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree!  Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time.  However, no gift should be over $10.  Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director

December 2nd

TO:  ALL EMPLOYEES

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.  We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year).  However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party."  The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanza at this time.  There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung.  Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director

December 3rd

TO:  ALL EMPLOYEES

Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this request, but, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, "AA Only," you won't be anonymous anymore.  In addition, forget about the gift exchange - no gifts will be allowed since the union members feel that $10 is too much money.

Patty Lewis
Human Researchers Director

December 7th

TO:  ALL EMPLOYEES

I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms.  Gays are allowed to sit with each other.  Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay men; each will have their table.  Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table.  Happy now?

Patty Lewis
Human Racehorses Director

December 9th

TO:  ALL EMPLOYEES

People, people - nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus!  Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit."

Patty Lewis
Human Ratraces

December 10th

TO:  ALL EMPLOYEES

Vegetarians - I've had it with you people!!  We're going to hold this party at Luigi's Open Pit whether you like it or not, you can just sit at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes.  But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too.  They scream when you slice them.  I've heard the scream.  I'm hearing them right now…  Ha!  I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

December 14th

TO:  ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness.  I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium.  In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.  Happy Holidays!

Terri Bishop
Acting Human Resources Director

A Jewish father was troubled by the way his son turned out, and went to see his Rabbi about it.

"I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive bar mitzvah, cost me a fortune to educate him.  Then he tells me last week he has decided to be a Christian!  Rabbi, where did I go wrong?"

"Funny you should come to me," said the Rabbi.  "Like you I, too, brought my boy up in the faith, put him through University, cost me a fortune, then one day he, too, tells me he has decided to become a Christian."

"What did you do?" asked the father.

"I turned to God for the answer," replied the Rabbi.

"And what did he say?" pressed the father.

"God said, 'Funny you should come to me…' "