Kids Are Just Too Smart!
Tommy had reached school age. His mother managed with a blast of propaganda to make him enthusiastic about the idea. She bought him lots of new clothes, told him of the new friends he'd meet and so on.
Came the first day, he eagerly went off and came back home with a lot of glowing reports about school.
Next morning when she woke him up, he asked "What for?" She told him it was time to get ready for school.
"What? Again?" he asked.
A little girl had just finished her first day of school.
"I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother.
"I can't read, I can't write--and they won't let me talk."
Teacher: Why are you late?
Webster: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Webster: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
Teacher: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
Cindy: You told me to do it without using tables!
Teacher: John, how do you spell "crocodile?"
John: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
John: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?
Sarah: H I J K L M N O!!
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Sarah: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
Teacher: George, go to the map and find North America.
George: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: George!
Teacher: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Willie: Me!
Teacher: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
Tommy: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
Teacher: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
Ellen: I is...
Teacher: No, Ellen...Always say, "I am."
Ellen: All right... I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Teacher: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
Johnny: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.
Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but he also admitted doing it. Now, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Johnny: Because George still had the ax in his hand.
Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "MY Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil: A teacher.
Sylvia: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Father: I think so. What do you want me to write?
Sylvia: Your name on this report card!
